(Thread)nique: Social Cues

Lack of Social Cues leads to Social awkwardness.... I should know

And no I dont have ADHD Or Aspergers

Social cues are signals that are given, usually consciously during a social interaction that communicates a person’s thoughts, or expected actions at certain intervals of a group’s activity.

People Who Just Don't Get Social Cues

So recently a friend and I were discussing, or rather venting,

about people we know who just can't get a hang of social cues.

For instance there is this girl I know who just keep talking and

talking and her stories never lead anywhere and

she tries to butt in on inside conversations or jokes.

1)For instance I can be talking with someone about an inside joke

and this girl will ask what were talking about so I'll just say

"Oh it's just kind of an inside thing" And normal people will leave it alone.

Not this girl. She'll persist and keep asking us what happened and

let's say if we do tell her she will try and act like she was there or something.

2)The next example is from my friend Vikki who lives with this girl Michelle.

A close person to Vikki just passed away and so the whole day she was crying

and very upset. Michelle had found out via her boyfriend, Doug, as to why

Vikki was crying and from the other room Michelle texted Vikki

"I'm so sorry I just heard what happened. I like how when you are

upset Doug notices, but when I'm upset after a fight he couldn't give a *bleep*"

Now maybe it was just us but when someone dies I'm pretty sure you take

that as a cue not to compare death to a couples fight.

Now this brings me to my point. Firstly, how many of you know people who

don't get social cues, and secondly how do you go about dealing with them?

I've heard rumors that not being able to get social cues may actually be a disorder.

http://www.neoseeker.com/forums/18/t1667502-people-who-just-don-get-social-cues/

1) maybe she didn't want to be left out, maybe she wanted to be apart of the group, maybe the lack of friendship in grade school and the bullying has made her over the top social as a defense mechanism.
Maybe that's why she doesn't pick up on social cues.. because she doesn't want to be left out and friendless.

2) people like this compare not to make other people feel worse but to let them know that its normal and that they aren't the only ones with a problem. Comparing death to a fight is wrong but again it steams from a place where she just want to prove that she understands and that she wants to be apart of the conversation. and that she wants to prove that she and her friend are a like. and that she gets it.

SO as my roommate has pointed out , I dont understand social cues, i ignore them... im 22 and ill need to learn them sooner rather then later to survive in the "Real World" im like Sheldon from big bang theory.

Or like Daniel in p.s I love you

So Im going to learn.... and youtube and google are going to help me

How to Read Social Cues on Howcast

How to Read Social Cues: Notice the distance

Step 1: Notice the distance

Notice the distance away from you at which a person is standing. The closer someone stands to you, the more comfortable they feel with you.

How to Read Social Cues: Read body signals

Step 2: Read body signals

Read body signals. Notice hand gestures, stance, and movement. Crossed arms indicate defensiveness, while open arms and hands suggest a feeling of openness.

How to Read Social Cues: Make eye contact

Step 3: Make eye contact

Make eye contact. If someone you are talking to is not looking you in the eye or consistently breaks eye contact, it is usually a sign that they are disinterested in you, or at least in the conversation. Conversely, maintaining prolonged eye contact can mean that someone is attracted to you.

In some cultures it is a sign of respect to maintain eye contact, but no romantic inference is intended.

How to Read Social Cues: Avoid long stares

Step 4: Avoid long stares

Look out for long stares, especially from a person in a position of authority. It usually means they are angry or are looking for an answer.

How to Read Social Cues: Don't ignore vocal inflection

Step 5: Don't ignore vocal inflection

Don’t ignore vocal inflection. Catching the tone in someone’s voice is important to detect sarcasm as well as humor. Keep in mind that electronic communication erases such signals, so most e-mails and text messages are taken literally.