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KONY 2012

Social Cues

Lack of Social Cues leads to Social awkwardness.... I should know


And no I dont have ADHD Or  Aspergers  


Social cues are signals that are given, usually consciously during a social interaction that communicates a person’s thoughts, or expected actions at certain intervals of a group’s activity.

People Who Just Don't Get Social Cues

So recently a friend and I were discussing, or rather venting,  about people we know who just can't get a hang of social cues.  For instance there is this girl I know who just keep talking and  talking and her stories never lead anywhere and  she tries to butt in on inside conversations or jokes. 1)For instance I can be talking with someone about an inside joke  and this girl will ask what were talking about so I'll just say  "Oh it's just kind of an inside thing" And normal people will leave it alone.  Not this girl. She'll persist and keep asking us what happened and  let's say if we do tell her she will try and act like she was there or something. 2)The next example is from my friend Vikki who lives with this girl Michelle.  A close person to Vikki just passed away and so the whole day she was crying  and very upset. Michelle had found out via her boyfriend, Doug, as to why  Vikki was crying and from the other room Michelle texted Vikki  "I'm so sorry I just heard what happened. I like how when you are  upset Doug notices, but when I'm upset after a fight he couldn't give a *bleep*" Now maybe it was just us but when someone dies I'm pretty sure you take  that as a cue not to compare death to a couples fight. Now this brings me to my point. Firstly, how many of you know people who  don't get social cues, and secondly how do you go about dealing with them?  I've heard rumors that not being able to get social cues may actually be a disorder. http://www.neoseeker.com/forums/18/t1667502-people-who-just-don-get-social-cues/

1) maybe she didn't want to be left out, maybe she wanted to be apart of the group, maybe the lack of friendship in grade school and the bullying has made her over the top social as a defense mechanism.
Maybe that's why she doesn't pick up on social cues.. because she doesn't want to be left out and friendless.

2) people like this compare not to make other people feel worse but to let them know that its normal and that they aren't the only ones  with a problem. Comparing death to a fight is wrong but again it steams from a place where she just want to prove that she understands  and that she wants to be apart of the conversation. and that she wants to prove that she and her friend are a like. and that she gets it.

SO as my roommate has pointed out , I dont understand social cues, i ignore them... im 22 and ill need to learn them sooner rather then later to survive in the "Real World" im like Sheldon from big bang theory.







Or like Daniel in p.s I love you


So Im going to learn.... and youtube and google are going to help me

How to Read Social Cues on Howcast

Step 1: Notice the distance

Notice the distance away from you at which a person is standing. The closer someone stands to you, the more comfortable they feel with you.

Step 2: Read body signals

Read body signals. Notice hand gestures, stance, and movement. Crossed arms indicate defensiveness, while open arms and hands suggest a feeling of openness.

Step 3: Make eye contact

Make eye contact. If someone you are talking to is not looking you in the eye or consistently breaks eye contact, it is usually a sign that they are disinterested in you, or at least in the conversation. Conversely, maintaining prolonged eye contact can mean that someone is attracted to you.

In some cultures it is a sign of respect to maintain eye contact, but no romantic inference is intended.

Step 4: Avoid long stares

Look out for long stares, especially from a person in a position of authority. It usually means they are angry or are looking for an answer.

Step 5: Don't ignore vocal inflection

Don’t ignore vocal inflection. Catching the tone in someone’s voice is important to detect sarcasm as well as humor. Keep in mind that electronic communication erases such signals, so most e-mails and text messages are taken literally.

Step 6: Teach social cues

Take the time and effort to learn and teach social cues so that you are clearly understood in your day-to-day interactions with people.

http://www.amazon.com/Always-Know-What-Say-ebook/dp/B006YTTVHO/

knit by mail

My baby brother knit me this scarf, made me the jewelry and found me this hat, typed up a letter on his typewriter and mailed me this package complete with 18 stamps because he had to make sure it got to me >.<

Heather's Hats

Pictures From Tonights Stitch N Bitch

Heather's Hats

Baby Blanket For her sister

Carly's First Project (coffee cozy)

My Cup Huggers 

For The November  Craft Show

Ill Stop when I have 20 in different colours and patterns XD

Social Days Off

So on my days off from work ive deiced that im going to be more social,

and actually hang out with the people I call friends

So on I hung out with Josh and we watched Fight club,2 broke girls and zombie land and then we played some mortal combat.

Last night Alice came over and we had a muffin party followed up with 2 bottles of wine and arrested development. which is actually pretty funny.

and tonight at 9 ill be going to  Eileen's house to just chill.  

200 Men on the Oprah show

november 5, 2010

A landmark Oprah Show event that's never been done before. Two hundred men courageously stand together to reveal they were all molested.

They are fathers, brothers, husbands and sons. Male survivors of sexual abuse reveal horrific details of their abuse. 

81% of the  men in the room had contemplated suicide 33% of those men had attempted suicide.

Out of 200 men... and why? Because they were sexually abused as children.

95% Of those men were depressed, cut them self's, isolated them selves away from there loved ones  after the abuse they had suffered

Suicide seemed like a safe alternative to living in a world were abuse could happen again.

When you are sexually  abused its kills who you could of been. 
The perpetrator has murdered who your might of been.

Victims of sexual assault are:

3 times more likely to suffer from depression.

6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.

13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.

26 times more likely to abuse drugs.

4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.

How Sexual Predators Groom Young Boys

• Most often, sexual abusers know the child they abuse but are not family. For example, the abuser might be a friend of the family, babysitter, or neighbor. About 6 out of 10 abusers fall into that group.
• About 3 out of 10 of those who sexually abuse children are family members of the child. This includes fathers, uncles, or cousins.
• The abuser is a stranger in only about 1 out of 10 child sexual abuse cases.
• Abusers are men in most cases, whether the victim is a boy or a girl.
• Women are the abusers in about 14% of cases reported against boys and about 6% of cases reported against girls.
• Child pornographers and other abusers who are strangers may make contact with children using the Internet.

Men who say they were sexually abused as children reveal why they're coming forward.

In our society we are use to women being week and being abused.

We never stop and think that it could be happening to the
men in our lives.


I couldn't believe  that the stats on this was so high. I started watching Oprah's
2 part seiries on OWN. I cried for the better part of the morning. I couldn't believe that this was happening to soo many people. 200 men...  200!
60% of abuse is never reported because the people are scared of what other will think, that the abuser will punish them or that they think that other people will be scared that they will turn into molesters.    
So I decided that i would write about this in my blog. And hopefully help someone else realize that they are not the only one this had happened to. They don't need to hide it. there is help out there for them. suicide isn't the answer. And that they don't need to carry this pain with them for the rest of there lives.